A Place to Belong
by Mnemosyne's Elegy
Summary: Yukine manages to drag himself back from that dangerous line one step—one sin—at a time, and Yato offers him a choice.


**Note: So...I totally got sucked into Noragami. There's just so much depth and complex characters and interesting character development and horrible backstories and fascinating themes and, yes, the humor. Like, what's not to love? This fandom deserves a lot more love than it gets, but I'm committed now lol**

 **So, yeah, sorry, my FT peeps. I still have a bunch of fics for FT and I'll continue posting the backlog, but at the moment I'm binge-writing for Noragami instead X) Maybe I'll slink back when this phase is over, but right now I'm having a lot of fun with a new fandom and new characters :D**

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It was Hiyori's voice that made Yukine stop in his tracks instead of taking that fatal step over the line. There were other voices screeching into his head, saying horrible things— _everyone should be just like me and die!_ —but Hiyori's voice broke through and made him pause. She said his name, she told him that Yato had stood by him despite the pain and betrayal, she said they couldn't be friends anymore if the betrayal continued. That thought gave him pause—that he could still have friends, maybe even a father figure, someone who cared about him.

But it was Yato's voice that made him turn around, that made tears fill his eyes.

"Yukine! It's true…that you can't interact with people of the Near Shore on equal terms anymore, but…" A cough rattled Yato's body and he clutched at his chest, but he pushed the words out. "But I found you and gave you a person's name, so…live as a person. Live, Yukine!"

That was what finally broke Yukine down, hearing such words from people who still cared about him even though he was dead, even though he had done bad things and betrayed his friends. And he wanted to believe.

"I–I'm sorry!"

So he confessed everything. The pain was excruciating as he dragged himself back from that dangerous line one step—one sin—at a time, but mostly because of how his heart ached under the guilt.

Daylight was already breaking over the horizon by the time Daikoku and the other shinki dropped the borderlines and the ablution was declared a success. Yukine knelt in a shivering heap on the ground, arms wrapped around his stomach and fingers digging painfully into his sides.

"Yukine!" Hiyori rushed to his side to bend over him and regard him with big, worried eyes. Even after all the trouble he had given her, she was still so _concerned_ about him. He was ashamed to have taken advantage of her when she had never been anything but kind. "Are you alright?"

"I…" Yukine's voice rasped painfully against a throat rubbed raw from screaming and crying. He made to try again, but his eye caught on Yato sprawled on the ground several feet away with Kofuku watching over him. "Y-Yato?"

Yukine pulled himself to his feet with great difficulty, his body shaking with echoes of pain and a crushing exhaustion, and staggered over to that stupid, worthless, jersey-loving god he had nearly killed. He collapsed back to his knees, the impact of hitting the hard ground jarring through his aching body.

Yato was still lying motionless, stretched out across the ground, eyes closed and breathing labored. There were no more purplish-black stains spreading across his pale skin like angry bruises, but there was blood dribbling from between his lips and dried on his chin and splattered across the ground in crimson stains.

"He'll be alright," Kofuku said brightly. "Yato-chan is tough, and the blight is cleansed."

"He's probably just worn out." Hiyori sighed heavily. "He's been enduring the blight and stinging for weeks now. I realized he wasn't feeling well, I just didn't understand how bad it was. And even the ablution itself was really rough on both of you…"

Yukine tasted regret on the back of his tongue. The ablution had been unbearably painful, but to endure such pain for so long? He supposed he didn't have any right to complain.

The other shinki were disheveled and looked nearly as exhausted as Yukine felt. They exchanged looks.

"Weeks?" Kazuma shook his head. "He shouldn't have let it get that far."

"You're lucky," Mayu added, bright green eyes raking over Yukine. "Most gods would have killed or exiled their shinki long before this point."

Yukine ducked his head and bit his lip.

"It's unforgivable to sting your master to such a degree," Daikoku grunted. "But…I'm glad it worked out in the end."

Yukine swallowed hard and reached out to his master. His hand paused in the air inches from Yato's shoulder. His fingers trembled. He…probably didn't have the right to touch now.

"Are you…alright…Yukine?" Yato's voice was low and breathy like a sigh, and his eyes didn't open.

Yukine jerked his hand back in surprise and his heart thumped like a jackhammer in his chest. "Y-yes, but–"

"That's…good. Stop feeling so guilty. It makes my chest ache."

"S-sorry, I–"

"It's alright." Only Yato's lips moved. His eyes stayed closed, his cheek pressed to the hard ground. "Now that the purification was a success, there's just one more thing… You went to Tenjin, didn't you? To see if you could become his regalia instead?"

Yukine started in surprise, eyes widening. "How did you know that?"

"Would you…still rather work with him?"

Something fragile trembled and shattered in Yukine's chest like glass, something he had just finally dared to tentatively believe in that was now ripped away. Yato's brows tightened and his hand fisted weakly against the ground.

"You're going to send me away?" Yukine asked in a small voice.

He deserved it, he knew he did after making such a mess of things, but it still hurt. Because he had been hoping that…hoping that maybe Hiyori was right and he could find friends here. And maybe he could have, if he hadn't betrayed them so cruelly.

"Many gods will exile a shinki after stinging them just once," Mayu said. She sounded vaguely sympathetic, but like this had been the expectation all along and why hadn't Yukine realized it by now? "You're lucky he allowed you to be purified first, or you would be an ayakashi instead of getting a second chance to find a new master. Or he could have always killed you."

"But–but–" Hiyori protested.

"That's…not what I said," Yato mumbled into the ground. "Tenjin wouldn't have taken you before. No one would have, not while you were stinging your master like a crazed hornet. And I'm sure he told you that you would become a nora if he gave you a name when I didn't release you from the one I gave you. There might still be some reluctance after seeing how far things went here, but I'll vouch for you and release you if that's what you want.

"You are unhappy with me. I am just a poor, worthless, good-for-nothing god, no?" Here, Yukine winced. He could almost feel the accusation of his own insults flung back at him, even though Yato's voice was more tired than anything. "You are welcome to stay here if you wish, but if it makes you that unhappy, I'm afraid our partnership will devolve back to this eventually. So, if you would like, I will find you a better master and release you."

Yukine hunched his shoulders and stared at the ground. It was like Yato was reading all the thoughts he'd had before, and it hurt to hear them laid out so bluntly even though—especially because—they were his own. He truly had been an ungrateful brat, hadn't he?

"If you didn't want to keep me," he whispered, "why did we go through all of this?"

Yato's eyes finally cracked open partway, electric blue crescents staring off into space. They were dull now, rather than bright. This wasn't the goofy, childlike idiot bouncing around like a fool, but the old, tired, cold god that lurked underneath.

"That's not what I said," he said again.

Yato's splayed limbs contracted and curled in, and he slowly pushed himself up on one arm and then into a sitting position, folding his legs beneath him and swiping his sleeve across his mouth to remove some of the blood. He moved with an air of exhaustion, or maybe pain, and let his eyes flutter shut as the tips of his fingers pressed to his forehead as if his head ached.

"Yato?" Hiyori asked, creeping closer. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," the god breathed. He dropped his hand and opened his eyes to fix them on Yukine. Yukine's heart jumped into his throat, and he couldn't look away from that bright, bright blue threatening to swallow him up. "If I didn't want to keep you, I would have released you already. I am giving you a _choice_ , Yukine. I already chose you. I chose you when I found and named you, and I chose you when I decided to keep you and give you a chance despite the blight.

"Now I am giving _you_ the chance to choose. I know you…realized that you can't have everything the living have. I felt it. But…Yukine, that doesn't mean you have nothing. You can still build your life here, beyond the Near Shore and before the Far Shore. You can make your own memories and future. You can make your own friends among us. So…choose who it is you want to build a relationship with. If I am so unbearable, you can try building a relationship with a different god and their shinki. If that's what would make you happy, I will let you go.

"But I found you and claimed you and gave you a name. 'You, with nowhere to go and nowhere to return, I grant you a place to belong.'" Yato sighed, and his eyes dipped halfway shut again. "It is a promise we make our shinki at the claiming, and I take that vow seriously. If you wish to leave then I will let you go, but you will always have a place to belong with me if you choose it. Of course I would rather keep you, but this is a choice I am giving _you_ , Yukine, because only you can decide where you want to belong."

A place to belong? Those stupid crybaby tears were welling up in Yukine's eyes again. Yato was selfish and careless and hadn't been the best at taking care of his shinki, but…but… But wasn't that what he was doing now? He might make Yukine sleep in the cold or wear secondhand clothes or mooch off of Hiyori for food, but, in a way, wasn't he still looking after his happiness here? He was giving Yukine the chance to find something better if it would make him happier, and a few hours ago Yukine would have taken him up on that offer.

But now he just burst into tears and threw himself at Yato even though it still didn't feel right to touch. He slammed into the god full force and sent them both flopping over backwards onto the ground.

"I'm sorry!" he wailed into Yato's chest. A hand fell onto his head, tangled in his hair. "I'm sorry! I won't do it again! P-please forgive m-me…"

Yukine regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth.

 _"It's unforgivable to sting your master to such a degree."_

Maybe so, but he wanted–he wanted–

"Everything is forgiven," Yato murmured.

Yukine raised his head and scrubbed at his eyes with one hand. Yato was pinned to the ground under his shinki's weight, staring up sightlessly at the lightening sky. His hand slipped from Yukine's hair to flop back to the ground and his eyes slowly slid to meet Yukine's.

Yukine dropped his gaze. "I want to belong with you," he mumbled.

There was a long pause before Yato said, in a voice that was still strained but considerably lighter than before, "Glad that's settled. Now, you're dripping snot all over my tracksuit."

 _You already drip sweat all over your tracksuit_ , Yukine would have said at any other time. For now, he just righted himself and scrambled backwards a few inches. Yato sat back up, refolded his legs, and leaned forward to rest his elbows across his knees.

Behind Yukine, Daikoku groaned. "I hate punishments. They're the worst."

He shuffled over, eyes tired and hair disheveled. Yukine dropped his gaze back to the ground.

"You should really do it as soon as you feel any stinging," Mayu lectured Yato.

Kazuma adjusted his glasses and studied the seated god with puzzled, guarded eyes. "Why would you let the impurity get to that level? It was extremely severe…"

Yukine eyed him sidelong. Kazuma had urged Yato to revoke Yukine's name before the ablution and encouraged Daikoku to kill him when the ritual wasn't going well. It struck Yukine again how lucky he must have been, because he was getting the feeling that most gods would have gone for one of those options rather than risk as much as Yato had.

"He's got a lot of talent, and I want to hone him properly." Yato shrugged. "He's a difficult one, but I'm no quitter. And…someone had to give him a chance." He grinned, and it wasn't quite back to its normal brightness but still plenty goofy. "Besides, I want him. I fell for him at first sight!"

"Don't make it sound so creepy," Yukine muttered. His fingers dug into his legs and his face burned.

 _"Besides, I want him."_

Yato wanted Yukine when no else did, despite everything. He was giving Yukine the second chance that most gods wouldn't, believing in him when everyone else had warned him to give up and let go.

And it…felt good, to be wanted. It made Yukine want to do everything right from now on and make Yato proud of him so that he didn't regret that decision.

"Sorry about this idiot," Yato added. "You have my gratitude. I didn't realize how much trouble we would cause everyone, even Hiyori. I'm sorry." He bowed his head and scooted around a couple centimeters to push Yukine's head down as well. "You apologize too."

"Sorry, Hiyori!" Yukine cried. "I'm really sorry!"

Hiyori launched herself at them and threw herself to the ground to wrap them both in a hug that caught Yukine completely off guard. "I'm so glad you're both okay!"

Yukine owed her too. She had brought him and Yato here, fetched Kazuma to be the third shinki for the ablution, called out his name. She had helped save them, and Yukine was ashamed that he had been treating her so poorly when she was always so kind.

Eventually she pulled herself away and stood up, and Yukine followed suit.

"You should all get some rest," Kofuku advised. "You're so exhausted that you can barely stand!"

No one disagreed with that. It might be morning, but Yukine was ready to sleep the day away.

Yato pulled himself to his feet unsteadily and then paused, eyes going glassy as he swayed. Then his eyes rolled back and he collapsed like a puppet with its strings cut. Daikoku lunged forward with a muffled curse to catch the unconscious god.

"Is he alright?" Hiyori asked shrilly.

Holy crap, had Yukine killed him after all?

"Nothing a day of sleep won't cure, I'm sure," Daikoku grunted. "Come, Yukine. You can sleep upstairs."

Yukine kept his eyes on the ground and didn't look at anyone as he shuffled along behind Daikoku. Daikoku dropped Yato onto one of the futons in the room upstairs and pulled the blankets over him before retreating with one last thoughtful look cast in Yukine's direction.

Yukine curled up on the other futon and blinked out blearily at his sleeping god. Yato was still a mess and too pale and pinched and had dark circles under his eyes, but at least he wasn't dying.

And this would never happen again. Yukine swore to himself that he would never sting Yato like that again. And even if Yato did turn out to be the most poor, worthless, good-for-nothing god there was, Yukine swore to serve him right this time around and make him proud. Yato had saved him, and Yukine fully intended to return the favor.

* * *

Yukine woke to the hash glare of bright sunlight in his eyes. He had no idea what time it was, and felt rather disoriented until his eyes adjusted and he sat up. He was still a bit tired and achy, but it was nothing compared to last night.

Last night. His stomach squirmed uncomfortably.

There was a slight movement in his peripheral vision, and he looked over to see Yato turning his gaze on him. The god was perched on the windowsill, leaning back against the side with his legs tucked up and arms resting across his knees. There was a moment where Yukine caught a glimpse of that old, tired god again, but then Yato gave him a toothy grin.

"Look who's finally awake!" Yato hopped off the windowsill, boots smacking against the floorboards. "And you call _me_ lazy. Come on, come on, let's go get some food! I want to go talk to Tenjin later. We really ought to thank him for letting us borrow Tomone, and I've got something I want to ask the old geezer about."

Yukine found it hard to meet Yato's eyes and frowned at the floor instead. "Are you sure you're feeling well enough for that already? I mean, you were pretty…"

Yato waved a dismissive hand and headed for the door with a bounce in his step. "I'm good as new! Don't tell me you're still tired after sleeping all day? Wow, you're like an old man already!"

"Look who's talking," Yukine muttered.

"Ouch, that stings. You're so mean!"

Stings…? Yukine's hands bunched in the blankets.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

" _Yukine_ ," Yato whined. "Stop wasting your breath on silly things. I'm hungry. Let's go!"

Harsh, but…Yukine supposed that an ablution was all about repenting and that was all about being sorry. Then maybe it was something else he should be saying.

He cleared his throat awkwardly. "…Thank you."

There was a long silence, and he finally risked a glance up. Yato was watching him from the doorway, head tilted thoughtfully.

"You're welcome," he said, eyes solemn. Then he grinned again, flung the door open with a resounding crash, and pranced out of the room. "I'm serious about the food! You'd better hurry up before I eat it all!"

Yukine hurriedly untangled himself from the covers and rushed after that stupid, good-for-nothing god. But still, good-for-nothing or not, he felt something like home.

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 **Note: I'll be honest, Yukine's ablution and the surrounding material (episodes 8 and 9 of the anime, I think) was the point at which I really got invested in the series. So it seemed like a good place to start.**

 **Also, I'm super pleased to have gotten hooked right when the manga finally came off its hiatus. For once in my life, I had great timing! XD I'm super excited that chapters are coming out again.**


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